10 Honest Replies To Annoying Questions Our Relatives Ask

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“How was your result?”, “Beta, did you gain weight?”, “So, when are you planning to settle down?”

Relatable much? If these sadistic remarks just brought back some horrific memories and have awakened your inner Gina Linnetti to say “Okey, no hard feelings, but I hate you. Not Joking. Bye.”, we warmly welcome you to the “I hate my relatives club!”.

Be it our parents, relatives or that ‘pados wali’ stalker aunty, we have all grown up playing this never ending “KBC with the loved ones”. From our crippling love life to the foggy future prospects, the questions render us either embarrassed or on the verge of a mellow breakdown.

While we often end up ignoring such comments believing them to be “a cow’s opinion, it’s moot..”, it’s high time to put an immediate stop to this “Kuch toh log kahenge shit..” and take matters into our own hands. So, here’s a compilation of some honest quirky comebacks that would help you get back in the game, the next time a relative dares to ask “How you doing?”

1. “So, How’s life?”

Awesome, I am ready to kill myself any moment now or turn into a serial killer. Highly depends on the next question you ask.

2. “Did you gain more weight?” or “Why so skinny?”

Yes, I did gain weight, aunty, because I didn’t exercise for 6 months during lockdown and ate like a baby elephant but can we please stop body shaming now? It’s 2020 for God’s sake!

3. “Arts? Why did you not opt for Engineering after Non-med?”

Because I was done being a loser uncle, and now I want to be a loser with passion. And while we are at the topic, didn’t your son change his major thrice, quit engineering in the final year and become a Tik Toker?

4. "How was your result?"

Ohh.. I wish I could tell you..But I don’t want to..Also, I am almost gonna cry..so please stop!

5. “Are you worried about getting a job after college?”

Can we please stop already?! Of course I am! But it depends if I clear my 2 backs from last sem and our GDP rises overnight, bringing back the “ache din” I so long for.

6. “So, how much money do you make?”

Wow...some invasion of privacy that is...But last time I checked, it was “none of your business” rupees per month.

7. “Why are you always on your phone?”

Because I am trying to avoid you! Also I have to complete this Netflix series as my friend’s account subscription expires in 2 days.

8. “What are your future plans?”

Well, let’s see..I just broke up last month, my boss almost fired me yesterday, my bank balance makes me cry every time I check it and I am a hell of a living mess..So yep, great things coming up in the future.

9. “When are you getting married, won’t you be 28 next year”?

Yes aunty, I will be. Also, you will be 55. Don’t you think it’s high time you focus on your kapalbhati sessions and acidity medications and leave me the heck alone!?